updating

Updating...but truthfully, few will want to read the words that might flow from these fingers simply because it has been a long few weeks in processing a great deal of things.....a great deal of my heart searching has stemmed from the book Crazy Love, which I have mentioned a few times before. Let's just say that if you have not read this book I beg you to get a copy and read it....slow. I would not recommend flying through it simply because it is so full of scripture and issues that are meant to be addressed in the right ways...in biblical ways.
The journey over the past month has not been an easy one as I have realize the ugliness of myself and the things I spend my time thinking about or doing. As I have continued the quest of simply reading the gospels for themselves I am continually blown away by the reality that Jesus demanded all or nothing from His followers. If you wanted to follow Him, you had to put everything you had on the line or walk away. As I've struggled with for years...."American Christianity" has become an accepted nearly easy way to live life. It requires very little sacrifice, especially if you live in the south. However, the question has to be raised by every so called "christian"....is Chris everything we are about. As I've read this book and searched my heart I am convicted of the changes I need to make in regards to a life completely about Jesus. There is really no excuse for how I have made Him part of my life and not my everything. It breaks my heart that there are people that have "prayed THE prayer" and yet nothing changes. I don't think there was anyone I have read about that did pray a prayer and were changed throughout the gospels.....Jesus wanted true heart and life change in response to becoming His follower. He sought true repentance of the soul and nothing less. He did not say it was okay to give Him a few things and we remained in control of the rest.....He said all or nothing....it's almost as He is saying I don't want, need, or deserve your leftovers. I am the One true God who has the ability to give you all the love and acceptance you will ever need in this life or you can continue to figure things out your own way and continue doing life half heartily.
I so want the time I have on this earth to count for His glory....I long to wake up and go to bed saying with all sincerity that He is all I need, my Rock, and my only Salvation. I want to give Him all of me and as I continue to understand areas where I have failed miserably I am reminded of the grace He has given me on this journey. I could go on for a year on this subject...but it all boils down to I want Jesus more today than I ever have before. I need Him like never before. I have tasted His goodness and I want more. I have seen that He is good and He is worth every trial and struggle of this life.
I was reading Chapter seven of this book this afternoon and today's quote for me was this....." Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers." I don't want to make sense to this world....I want to manifest His love back to Him and to this world. We are called to be free to live in Him and free to serve through that love.....
I leave this post with the great words found in Galations 5:13-14
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve on another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: " Love your neighbor as yourself."