So....it's been a few years since I've put anything on this blog and have been praying through what God wants to do with me in this season...."the days are long but the years are short" seems to be something we say a lot around here....did I mention we have three boys now? God answered years of prayers through Abe's sweet arrival and we honestly thought that if God saw fit He would allow us to adopt but gifted us with Zeke in 2016.
These years have been filled with refinement.....looking at the world through the eyes of boys that are in very different stages of childhood.....but He has provided and showed His might when we have been tired (scratch that...exhausted). They are all answers to prayers....some we didn't even know we were praying....but knowing God does what only He can do in His timing we have a home that is full of grace.....daily grace....grace that is seen daily in our shortcomings, our half-hearted responses, and our failures.....but grace.....thankfully God sees us through Christ and we can live in freedom.
I'm going to try to do a better job with "random family updates" but I'm hoping to launch a more professional blog in the coming months to really share what God is doing in this heart and beyond.
So, pray that God reveals the details as I become quiet enough to hear from Him alone.
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Monday, January 30, 2012
The Lord as Protector
We are starting a new ladies group at the church...just going through scripture and looking at the different characteristics of God. This week we are looking at God as Protector. We have the Lord's word...no other book. Surely need to be reminded of all He is through His word.
The story that comes to my mind most vividly is the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Jesus taught those wanting to stone her a profound lesson that day but He protected this precious woman. I love to replay this story in my head. I can't help but think how fast I would have run if posed that question by the son of God. Seriously, I can't even see how we can utter a word in response to that question coming from The Only Holy One. The grace and protection He gives this woman blesses my heart on so many levels.
I was protected, redeemed, delivered. All because of Jesus. He has protected this heart and fought for what is good, holy, and pure.
Psalm 91 is such a beautiful anthem of the Lord as our protector.
My Refuge and My Fortress
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say[a] to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
Please share how you see the Lord as your PROTECTOR! What verses, parables, stories are pressed on your heart with this as the theme? Let's talk this semester about these attributes. I am excited about this journey....let's be encouraged together as we are reminded of how great our God is!
The story that comes to my mind most vividly is the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Jesus taught those wanting to stone her a profound lesson that day but He protected this precious woman. I love to replay this story in my head. I can't help but think how fast I would have run if posed that question by the son of God. Seriously, I can't even see how we can utter a word in response to that question coming from The Only Holy One. The grace and protection He gives this woman blesses my heart on so many levels.
I was protected, redeemed, delivered. All because of Jesus. He has protected this heart and fought for what is good, holy, and pure.
Psalm 91 is such a beautiful anthem of the Lord as our protector.
My Refuge and My Fortress
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say[a] to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
Please share how you see the Lord as your PROTECTOR! What verses, parables, stories are pressed on your heart with this as the theme? Let's talk this semester about these attributes. I am excited about this journey....let's be encouraged together as we are reminded of how great our God is!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Drum Roll
Oh goodness. I am bad at blogging! The few people that actually read this. I apologize. The thought to get on and write has been on my mind often, but it has fallen short to the ever growing list of things to do.
Lately I have been convicted of 2 things:
1. Doing things half way.
2. Not being content.
Bare with me on this...we have a kids book called Halfway Herbert by Francis Chan. It is a book geared towards kids but has slapped me in the face each time I read it. It simply talks about doing things halfway in life (ex. brushing teeth, combing hair, finishing half your work, listening to half of instructions, etc.). Anyhow, the point of the book is to allow us to realize that this is a huge problem and tends to creep in and spread into a lot of areas of our lives.
It has always been an issue for me, but I am finding that it is even more of an issue for me these days. I am not doing things fully. I am surely not doing things with ALL my heart because I am spreading it out to several things many of which are not important. I want to do things the Lord has for more with all my heart and not half way.
We say to Eli a lot....delayed obedience is disobedience. Well, that same truth applies to us in our walks with Christ. We can't obey Him half way. We can't pick and choose what we listen to. We can't hold on to certain scriptures and ignore the parts we don't feel apply to us in 2011. God wants our entire lives not just pieces. That is where I am right now. This heart wants so much more Jesus. I want to be all in for the one who has called me to Himself.
So, I am asking you...what does this look like for you? Let's talk..Let's encourage..I want to hear!
Not being content......more to come on this later!
Love you all!
Lately I have been convicted of 2 things:
1. Doing things half way.
2. Not being content.
Bare with me on this...we have a kids book called Halfway Herbert by Francis Chan. It is a book geared towards kids but has slapped me in the face each time I read it. It simply talks about doing things halfway in life (ex. brushing teeth, combing hair, finishing half your work, listening to half of instructions, etc.). Anyhow, the point of the book is to allow us to realize that this is a huge problem and tends to creep in and spread into a lot of areas of our lives.
It has always been an issue for me, but I am finding that it is even more of an issue for me these days. I am not doing things fully. I am surely not doing things with ALL my heart because I am spreading it out to several things many of which are not important. I want to do things the Lord has for more with all my heart and not half way.
We say to Eli a lot....delayed obedience is disobedience. Well, that same truth applies to us in our walks with Christ. We can't obey Him half way. We can't pick and choose what we listen to. We can't hold on to certain scriptures and ignore the parts we don't feel apply to us in 2011. God wants our entire lives not just pieces. That is where I am right now. This heart wants so much more Jesus. I want to be all in for the one who has called me to Himself.
So, I am asking you...what does this look like for you? Let's talk..Let's encourage..I want to hear!
Not being content......more to come on this later!
Love you all!
Monday, May 16, 2011
New Week
Wow...I have wanted to sit down to write a great deal...I told Chris I had so much going on in my head that needed a place to land...well this is where a lot of those things land....good or bad...it is a very good outlet!
Anyhow, I have decided a few things....I watch way too much tv on a given day. It is not on much during the day but often at night I can sit for a couple hours and waste my life becoming wrapped up in things that don't matter and have no eternal significance. I am not at all saying that these things are wrong...I am just saying I struggle. Granted, I have been on some crazy medication that has limited my eye sight, but slowly it is coming back and therefore I will have no excuse whatsoever.
I have struggled with the issue of "mystical" answers that people blanket (me included)...some are true...but the source of that truth is unclear.
For example...many say "He won't give me more than I can handle"...I argue, yes He will...but, He isn't going to allow us to walk through something He can't handle. We don't have the ability to handle most things....we try...but in the end we fail. Instead of giving people the Biblical reason for something we give them a "mystical" one that sounds good...but is not fully grounded in the Word. This is why knowing scripture is so important. I want to have it so ingrained in me that it just overflows into my speech..I want to not have to go....Oh, I know that scripture is around here somewhere....I want to know it, love it, live it.
So, this week....the ones praying for me...pray that my eye sight will be fully restored and that this heart and mind will store scripture well....I have to pray for this, b/c I feel like I have the worst short term memory! I believe prayer works...I believe that knowing Jesus starts with knowing His word. I want to know it deeper....I want to live it...
I will probably elaborate on this latter...
Have a beautiful week!
Anyhow, I have decided a few things....I watch way too much tv on a given day. It is not on much during the day but often at night I can sit for a couple hours and waste my life becoming wrapped up in things that don't matter and have no eternal significance. I am not at all saying that these things are wrong...I am just saying I struggle. Granted, I have been on some crazy medication that has limited my eye sight, but slowly it is coming back and therefore I will have no excuse whatsoever.
I have struggled with the issue of "mystical" answers that people blanket (me included)...some are true...but the source of that truth is unclear.
For example...many say "He won't give me more than I can handle"...I argue, yes He will...but, He isn't going to allow us to walk through something He can't handle. We don't have the ability to handle most things....we try...but in the end we fail. Instead of giving people the Biblical reason for something we give them a "mystical" one that sounds good...but is not fully grounded in the Word. This is why knowing scripture is so important. I want to have it so ingrained in me that it just overflows into my speech..I want to not have to go....Oh, I know that scripture is around here somewhere....I want to know it, love it, live it.
So, this week....the ones praying for me...pray that my eye sight will be fully restored and that this heart and mind will store scripture well....I have to pray for this, b/c I feel like I have the worst short term memory! I believe prayer works...I believe that knowing Jesus starts with knowing His word. I want to know it deeper....I want to live it...
I will probably elaborate on this latter...
Have a beautiful week!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
This week....Mother's Day
So...I have had so much to get out of my head and onto this blog..but I will start with the most evident as we approach Mother's Day this year. Last year at this time we were walking through some of the darkest and hard times of our lives. Two days before Mother's Day I had to have a D&C to remove our little one who's heart was no longer beating. To say Mother's Day was hard last year is an understatement. To be honest this year has been such a year of searching and finding where my heart really was and not just my emotions. So, I have slowly been approaching this time with a healthy "big boy" and a beautiful family trying not to go back to that time. However, the truth is it is still very much a part of our lives. I long to be able to see him or her in heaven.
I am grateful for how much grace the Lord has given me through this process. When I finally had enough courage to just sit at His feet....He was the God of comfort like He had never been before. He has been able to use this awful process to bring perspective to how precious life is. It has opened doors to many who have walked through this road too. He has not and will not leave us to walk through it alone. For this I am most grateful for. Of course the why question was asked multiple times. I can not answer this question for certain, but I can tell you that He has used it mightily in our lives. Would I take it back...yes...I would never wish those moments on anyone, but am thankful that this day we know He uses all things for His glory and His purpose.
I am thankful for my mother this day...and I am grateful to be one to our precious blessing. I have failed miserably at the role but again am thankful for His grace that is new each morning and covers a multitude of mistakes. Though this heart still grieves...it does so with purpose now...with perspective...with hope.
On a side note...anyone who knows me well knows I adore Christy Knockels. When she was with Watermark, she and her husband had written this song....and I tried to attach it...but can't figure it out...I will leave you with the lyrics this day....thank you family and friends for all the support, encouragement, and love you have poured out on us this year. You will never know how much that has meant.
Glory baby, you slipped away
As fast as we could say baby, baby
You were growing, what happened dear
You disappeared on us baby, baby
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
Until we're home with you
Until we're home with you
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
Before we do
Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it
'Cause we are hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing, and we know we're stronger people
Through the growing, and in knowing
All things work together for our good
And God works his purposes
Just like he said he would
Just like he said he would
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
I can't imagine heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know
All you'll ever know
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
Yeah, you'll just have heaven before we do
Before we do
I am grateful for how much grace the Lord has given me through this process. When I finally had enough courage to just sit at His feet....He was the God of comfort like He had never been before. He has been able to use this awful process to bring perspective to how precious life is. It has opened doors to many who have walked through this road too. He has not and will not leave us to walk through it alone. For this I am most grateful for. Of course the why question was asked multiple times. I can not answer this question for certain, but I can tell you that He has used it mightily in our lives. Would I take it back...yes...I would never wish those moments on anyone, but am thankful that this day we know He uses all things for His glory and His purpose.
I am thankful for my mother this day...and I am grateful to be one to our precious blessing. I have failed miserably at the role but again am thankful for His grace that is new each morning and covers a multitude of mistakes. Though this heart still grieves...it does so with purpose now...with perspective...with hope.
On a side note...anyone who knows me well knows I adore Christy Knockels. When she was with Watermark, she and her husband had written this song....and I tried to attach it...but can't figure it out...I will leave you with the lyrics this day....thank you family and friends for all the support, encouragement, and love you have poured out on us this year. You will never know how much that has meant.
Glory baby, you slipped away
As fast as we could say baby, baby
You were growing, what happened dear
You disappeared on us baby, baby
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
Until we're home with you
Until we're home with you
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
Before we do
Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it
'Cause we are hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing, and we know we're stronger people
Through the growing, and in knowing
All things work together for our good
And God works his purposes
Just like he said he would
Just like he said he would
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
I can't imagine heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know
All you'll ever know
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
Yeah, you'll just have heaven before we do
Before we do
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
What will God take away?
Today Eli was singing a song around the house and after he was done he said "God will never take anything away from us". I paused and thought through how to respond...you all could have probably explained this much better. From experience though, God has surely taken things away from me. He has taken relationships, friendships, possessions, etc. At the end of the day though I know He has done it for His glory and for reasons beyond my comprehension at times. However, I am confident that He works all things out for His glory.
At the time of going through loosing something/someone emotions overwhelm my soul. I am confident though that He has used each one of these times to show Himself in all His perfection. I am grateful that He did not give up on this life long ago and I am thankful that He took many things away. Somethings I am still working on....but, I do not have to fully understand. I am okay with this. I am not God, nor would I ever want to be. So often with my actions, I try. Thankfully, I fail without question each and every time.
Anyhow, I know this post is random but it is what I have been processing today since Eli brought this question to my attention....would love to here your answers...
Thank you for praying for me. Believe me it is working!!
At the time of going through loosing something/someone emotions overwhelm my soul. I am confident though that He has used each one of these times to show Himself in all His perfection. I am grateful that He did not give up on this life long ago and I am thankful that He took many things away. Somethings I am still working on....but, I do not have to fully understand. I am okay with this. I am not God, nor would I ever want to be. So often with my actions, I try. Thankfully, I fail without question each and every time.
Anyhow, I know this post is random but it is what I have been processing today since Eli brought this question to my attention....would love to here your answers...
Thank you for praying for me. Believe me it is working!!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Distraction
Oh...how I dislike this word! I dislike being distracted more than almost anything....sad thing is I am distracted nearly every day, especially when I have not been in the Word and praying through everything that might be ahead. It frustrates me to no end to know how much time I waste in a given day on things that do not matter or are not plausible. I have had many conversations with the Lord on this issue, because I believe it is truly the thorn in my side. He designed my mind and my emotions which is why I can not second guess Him...
At the end of the day people matter to me. Conversations matter to me. Does this overshadow the purposes of the Lord? In this life yes...at times...I am about what is around me instead of what IS. I am not constantly thinking this person I have just met might not know Jesus...instead I am thinking about the unfinished conversation with someone else or the fact that things look different than I envisioned them to look at this point in my life.
I believe the Lord works all things out for His glory....and that is why I am asking you all for prayer....that my mind would be focused on the things that matter...the things of Him...and not things that I can not change. I want to live a life that matters for the One who created me....free of distractions...but I know the Lord allows that...my prayer is that I'll recognize when Satan takes control of this area and diverts my attention and allegiance off the One who does matter. Thank you for praying.
At least you now know why these posts are so random. My mind does not stop. Thank you for baring with me!
At the end of the day people matter to me. Conversations matter to me. Does this overshadow the purposes of the Lord? In this life yes...at times...I am about what is around me instead of what IS. I am not constantly thinking this person I have just met might not know Jesus...instead I am thinking about the unfinished conversation with someone else or the fact that things look different than I envisioned them to look at this point in my life.
I believe the Lord works all things out for His glory....and that is why I am asking you all for prayer....that my mind would be focused on the things that matter...the things of Him...and not things that I can not change. I want to live a life that matters for the One who created me....free of distractions...but I know the Lord allows that...my prayer is that I'll recognize when Satan takes control of this area and diverts my attention and allegiance off the One who does matter. Thank you for praying.
At least you now know why these posts are so random. My mind does not stop. Thank you for baring with me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)